Curysupporters are plus-size mothers, models, upcoming survivors, entrepreneurs, philanthropists, body advocates leaders, scholars, sisters, mentors, friends, and daughters—and even a few brave men. We share stories of triumph and devastating loss, struggle, challenges, encounters and everything in between. Through sharing, we all find common ground, confidence, inspiration, hope, meaning, and, ultimately, inspiration toward empowered action.
It really seems that these days we are all about Meghan Trainor’s bass. If you’re walking on the street, you can hear it playing from cafes, cars, or anything with a stereo. So, yes, Meghan, I’m all about that bass too. But besides having a really good beat, this song seems to have a pretty good message, as Trainor deals with the issue of being “plus-size.”
So let’s talk about size!
If I’m being honest, it seems to me that in the Western world — and especially in America — “size” doesn’t appear to be such a big issue. For example, in America, it seems that there are a little more tolerance and less judgment for “plus-size” people. In Hungary/Ukraine, however, it is a different story. It’s not necessarily that we walk around going, “Gross, you’re so fat!” But, we are way more judgmental and intolerant of sizes that aren’t “small.” I feel that, in our society here in Ukraine, to be large is to be in some kind of lower class. Like, if you are plus-size, then, sorry, but you’re not as good as a size one or two — which is so not right. Who is it that made the decision that they/we are different?
Maybe I’m overreacting, but I recently read a Hungarian article wherein the writers made some really good points. One of my favorite parts was that they were questioning why plus-size sections of shops even exist. I know that the idea is to make “plus-size” customers your customers, but this isn’t the problem. But the fact is that in a public space (like a shop) we separate “plus-size” and “normal-size” — that isn’t really normal, is it? Whom is that decided what “normal” is and what “normal” isn’t? When did larger sizes become segregated into “plus-size”?
Let’s take a minute to think about the statistics here. Only 25 % of clothing is “plus-size” while the overwhelming majority is “normal.” Why? Why can’t my size be equally represented? Why can’t I have that pretty dress in my size? Why is it that when I walk into a shop and ask, Do you have this dress in my size?, they give me a look and say, No, we don’t, sorry. We just have normal sizes. Am I overreacting to say that it’s totally inappropriate for companies to be able to tell me, “Sorry, you’re not normal.” “Sorry, you can’t fit into my narrow view of what ‘normal’ means.”
It’s absolutely unfair to judge somebody’s weight at first glance because, for one thing, you can never be sure why that person is overweight. They could have some disease, some hormone-problem, depression, or an endless list of other reasons. They could be perfectly healthy and active and just be larger-framed. Why are we judging when we don’t know the whole story?
In my opinion, we are all beautiful in all different ways. There should be no such thing as fat vs. skinny, and people shouldn’t be starving themselves via diets just because society dictates that it should be that way. We can change that. We can change our society because we are a society. The only question left is: Are we willing to change?
FABIANABERGARA – My Journey, My Voice I want my story to have an impact on anyone who is struggling with loving themselves/body image/childhood trauma. We all go through experiences in life that we can either dwell on or say “hey, I can make a difference.” Growing up chubby always worried about “image” and constantly eating my feelings away. The root of the issue was being a victim of sexual abuse as a child at age 7 by my step-father whom I lived with until my mid 20’s; it did leave me to emotionally eat and honestly just feel bad about myself. Raised in a family where “body-image” was constantly an issue because I was the one in the family with the bigger thighs so there will always be comments; “your thighs got bigger” or “you gained weight.” The more you instigate “you need to lose weight” or “why are you gaining so much?” – (note to self) that individuals might actually gain more weight. So that being a factor in my family, I was always worried about how I looked and how am I going to lose more weight was a constant battle with my mind. We are all aware that from our 20’s-30’s, we grow the most. At 24 years old, I started working out. I did lose a lot of weight because I was working out 6 days a week. I came to realize, yes, I felt and looked good but I wasn’t ME. I was trying to fill this void I was feeling with attention; in particularly “men” which is not a part of self-love. At 27-30 years old, I did tons of kickboxing, running, and working out with trainers because it helped me to mentally cope with what I was going through and trying to find myself. I seriously loved kickboxing and boxing because it made me super strong and gave me more power to unleash the beast inside me. Exercising is crucial and I will always contribute that in my life, and it did clear my mind from all the worrying everyday stress we all have as well as my past trauma. “I didn’t always appreciate the power that my body gave me.” – Ashley Graham, I have learned after my 30’s if people are pointing fingers on how you look, whether you gained or lost, that’s just a reflection of themselves whether it be family and/or friends. They will always have something to say. Your purpose is to be happy with yourself and I kept asking myself, what can I do to be happy? Well, that’s simple; do things that make YOU HAPPY. Don’t worry about others, don’t judge others, don’t put your energy into unnecessary situations. Bring out the “inner-child” in YOU. Go back to when you used to go to that park that you always had fun in or make that special cake recipe that smelled amazing while baking; Or take a kickboxing class, get a massage or a pedicure just because. Find the strength to get to know yourself better. That was the main goal and anyone who brought toxicity to my life, I cut all cords with. It most definitely was a challenge because I grew this emotional attachment towards them for many years(most of my life); but I had to do what was best for me. They didn’t serve my highest good. Whether that be family, friends, guys, etc. Now I’m in my 30’s and I can honestly say my journey and my struggle with “self-love” is what lead me to be stronger, be wiser, have the power I always wanted. We are stronger than we really think we are. I am so grateful to have confidence and take care of myself. Yes, I have my off days as we all do, but I can truthfully look in the mirror and say “girl you’ve been through A LOT and I LOVE YOU and I APPRECIATE MY CURVES.” Perfection doesn’t exist. So with all this being said, we all struggle, we all have stories; we can choose to change the way we act upon it or we can keep dwelling on the past. It’s all in your strength and your journey as to what you choose to make you happy. “Now that I am in my happy place, you can’t tell me nothing because I know I’m good enough.” – Ashley Graham
Fabian Role Model
Pictures were taken By Nikki Gomez
I grew up without my daddy because he was and is schizophrenic and my mom had to leave him when I was three because he was too mean. But she stuck through for a long time. so it was just my mom's and me as long as I can remember. So hating my body image it started as a little girl I was always bigger than the other kids were at the same age. And since then no one has let me forget it. I was picked on and teased all through school. I was molested a few time but older girls and never really knew what it meant I never talked about it I just had flashbacks. Till I went to home school in 7th grade because I was over it even tho it wasn’t over with me because friends and family still had to put there 2 cents where it didn’t belong. My mom had me tested and she was told my body was 5 to 8 years older than I was. But nothing could be done so every-time I grew taller I gained more weight. Mystery I think no I was just special. So in homeschool, I worked out every day I was addicted to working out to the point I would starve myself or just eat baby food and water. Which with working out made me feel like crap till eventually, I would almost pass out get sick every time I worked out but I didn’t care I just had to be skinny no matter what. Then in 9th grade, I went back to school with confidence and still got teased but didn’t care. I was over it. Then in 10th grade, I decided to have sex like everyone else and the first time I got pregnant. Yes, people, it does happen. So now I’m gonna be a teen mom which was never what I had in mind. But I can’t thank God enough for this wonderful child. I developed bipolar 2 disorder when I was 14 which was the year before I had my first daughter in 2002. And I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia at that time too but heck if I knew anything about these two things and I received the diagnosis but not a suggestion on how to control these things. I was super manic after giving birth but thankfully I was a good mom I just had issues with anger towards others. My anger grew stronger from broken promises. My daughter's dad ended up being a troublemaker dead beat. So I, of course, developed depression and anxiety along with all this. My out was going to karaoke with my mom with we did a lot and in Tennessee, you could bring your children which were even better because my daughter and I were children. So I just wanted to sing all the time I’ve always wanted to be a singer and model and my mom always stood by me and helped me in any way to accomplish this. She put me through Barbizon modeling school, John Casablanca modeling/acting, she sent me to IMTA (international model and talent) in New York on June 2006. I by the time I went to IMTA had my 2nd daughter which she’s an amazing blessing as well even tho not planned and I got married. He wasn’t as into the career I wanted as I was but he let me do it because I don’t take no for an answer. Lol I was not medically managed with my bipolar I still knew nothing about or the depression anxiety I was just sad and pissed off at others is all I knew and I wondered no matter what why I was so fat all the time. Even tho I wasn’t even that big. 220lbs is what I weighted. So over time, I had thoughts of suicide and all kinds of craziness in my head. Thankfully this didn’t make me a bad mom because my girls were my priority no matter what was going on in my mind I had to live for them and my mom. So in October 2006, we decided to move to Oregon my mom was retiring and we wanted a change. My husband came along which we loved each other but we did argue and bicker a lot which was something I hated it made me worse I hated confrontation I always have. Things continued to get worse and in 2007 after moving to Oregon we got into an argument because he was messaging girls at his work online and I flipped the freak out. I just couldn’t let it go it ate at me like a termite. I snapped one day and went to his work I ended up in the slammer for about 8 hours not somewhere I ever want to go again BTW then we had to separate for a few months but we, of course, miss each other he came back and we had another huge argument and I had just found out I was pregnant with my 3rd daughter and I was not happy because I was so ready for my career. But God had other plans needless to say our arguments ended badly because he raised he had to hit me and I punched first and broke his nose. That was the end I was done he was done so a few months later on his lunch break he was supposed to meet me. But instead had taken his paycheck and a bus back to Tennessee. Which was horrible I didn’t know why I was so sick in my mind doctors didn’t listen. I did finally get into am anger management class and it was one of the best classes I ever had. She put me on a few meds and 6 months later I felt like a new person except I was alone with 2 babies 4 and 2 my disabled mom and one on the way and we were about to be homeless because he worked and my mom had social security so one income was gone we couldn’t make it. We ended up in a homeless shelter 18days after my 3 beautiful babies were born. I kept my head up I just knew God would take care of us no matter what. Even tho down the road I would lose my faith again. So I got a job at a bingo hall which of course we still couldn’t afford a place but the homeless shelter only let you stay 3 months so I had to do something. I was in constant pain from fibromyalgia which just made me want to die. But my family kept me going. My meds stopped working tho I thought so I asked for something else. I got put on Klonopin which was a huge mistake. Anyways we were at a birthday party started talking to some church friends and they had a big house in the country which had the master bedroom empty and they said we could live there and just pay our part of the electric a single lady lived in one room and a single young man upstairs. Which they were both super cool and never home. They finally found somewhere else to go because the house was being foreclosed on the market had crashed and these amazing people who have helped us were losing everything as well. on top of this my bipolar wasn’t doing well I was manic and wanted to go out on the weekends I was also young and dumb I guess. So I would go drink be promiscuous I let guys use me and whatever because I was searching for love and other things in the wrong places. Thankfully I did all this outta the home I didn’t want random people around my girls because let’s face it we Live in a sick world and it is just getting worse. So along with this, I developed a relationship with food that I’ve had all along but it used to be to starve myself but now I ate my feelings any time my feelings were off I ate and I didn’t even realize it. This continued for years through different boyfriends or whatever you wanna call them and people who use me and I let them because I was just being too nice. Give them rides when I didn’t have gas to take myself places and I would just do way too much for people who don’t even care about me. Because I didn’t care about myself and I didn’t care what happened to me. Even though all I wanted to do was live for my kids and my mom. But my mind had different directions for me to go. When I was on the Klonopin I don’t even remember two years or three years of my life it’s like a blank. So when I realized I was addicted to them my mom is on vacation and I had all the girls by myself and my anxiety was super high and the medicine wasn’t working. I went and I screamed at my doctor and told him he was giving me a fucking refill because I couldn’t do this without those pills and that’s when I realize I was addicted to them something that was supposed to help me not mess me up more. So life continues and my eating disorder rubbed off on my daughters they thought the food was a friend as well. Plus we didn’t eat very well back then we ate box things and processed things and whatever was cheapest because being poor sucked. We finally got into a townhouse because the place we were staying the people who foreclosed it paid us $2200 to clean up and move out so we’re able to rent a townhouse. I also had a horrible problem if I touched the poker machines I couldn’t stop and yes I would win but I lost way more than I won it was a dumb thing. Then in 2010 my brother called and said he was going to put my dad in a home and I said no bring him to me is here already been in a home and Neil if you want to do another one he wouldn’t make it. So in 2010, I started taking care of my dad that I didn’t grow up with. But I knew it was gonna be an amazing journey his kidneys failed in our living room and 2010 about a month after I start taking care of him. I lost sight of my original career I still sang all the time because I still wanted to be a singer and a matter what but I knew it was gonna be put on hold. plus singing makes me happy makes my mind shut up. Anyways I got off of the Klonopin after having some seizures and things from coming off of it. I felt way better in my mind I was only on Lamictal and Cymbalta. My body not so much I smoked cigarettes as well and had horrible asthma. Not sure why I did this but I did. Anyways my dad got on dialysis. we lived in that house for 8 years and it just felt like time flew by. I don’t remember a lot which sucks. In 2012 I was in a major car accident I was a passenger in my friend's car and we were T-boned by a big rig the state trooper said we had angels because we were all alive. I am so thankful for God keeping me alive My body not so much but for me yes. My pain got worse I felt like I forgot things a lot. I didn’t understand why bad things kept happening. No matter how hard I tried. Then in 2015 on Christmas Eve my mom dad and I were coming from my niece's house and I wanted my picture taken because I was still wanting a career and it made me feel better to take them. So we crossed the road and bam an illegal person ran the stop sign hit us and tried to leave the scene. Anyways ended up with more body damage in my neck this time so I had shooting pains down my arm because I herniated a disk and a nerve got pinched. (Still, deal with this to this day) then again I am bagging asking God why is this all happening what do I need to learn. So I lost my faith I was thinking of giving my girls my amazing precious babies to someone else at church because they were a wonderful couple with 2 kids of there own and I just thought they would do a better job and I could just go drive myself off a cliff. I did not do either of these things but at that time I thought this was all I had. I also in 2009 try to go to beauty school and do hair because I thought I needed a career but my mom wasn’t able to take care of the girls by herself and I had to quit which is fine I did what was best for our family.
Then I healed from the 2015 accident and then in January 2017, I was rear-ended at a red light during a snowstorm the guy was going to fast and he couldn’t stop and he had us in the butt. And I just had a meltdown I couldn’t believe that it happened again. And I was like are you kidding me why do these things keep happening to my family. My oldest daughter was also in the car and she was hurt very badly as well. Traumatized everything she also has a mental disorder and I’ve dealt with that her whole life as well. so along with me being hurt my baby is hurt and now she wants to kill her self because she can’t stand the bank and she can’t understand why this is happening to her. Because all she wants to do is be an artist and now her arm is all messed up. So we started treatment and everything and started feeling better and in November 2017 we were with my mom and my other daughter Samantha and we were rear-ended again at a red light the lady was on her cell phone not paying attention. And the cream desk going about 45 miles an hour. I suffered a major concussion for two years. The rest of the family was hurt as well and got treatment. I know God has the best plans for us and he knows by all this happens. I didn’t think that back then but now I know that everything in life happens for a reason but because of all these things I am now got up to 465 pounds and me lost down to 450 but it’s a constant battle I have lung issues I have chronic asthma I quit smoking thankfully in 2014 after almost dying from pneumonia and two viruses I was in the hospital I have Claps lung on the left side I have a collapse on the right side. I am on oxygen I am mentally stable now but I still have my ups and downs. I am trying to lose weight again which I’ve done all my life often on I’ve probably lost 500 pounds often on my whole life just going up and down up and down always fighting with my weight. I lost a baby in 2009 I had a DNC and miss him but I know God has better plans for him than I did I knew that he could take care of them better than me. I am a fighter I am strong and I will never give up no matter what. The matter what you go through life is worth living. Are used to try to kill myself and cut myself I now all I want to do is life. Live each day in the forest I never give up. Again this year I got pneumonia and the flu at the same time and I pray to God not to take me because I knew I was so sick I can’t even take a breath. I told the hospital I needed them to keep me because I know my body I’ve had pneumonia about seven times in my life and I just knew I needed to be there and he sent me home and I can’t even walk up the stairs he sent me home in my robe with no clothes on is about 28° outside and they said you’ll be fine and I felt like they were sending me home to die. I’m still here standing I made it but being on oxygen constantly have to worry about people that are sick around you because no matter how little tiny cold turned into a huge thing with me and then I have to go back on steroids back on steroids I’m always on and off steroids matter if I lose 10 pounds then I go back on steroids and my 10 lbs comes back. But no matter what I’m gonna keep losing that 10 pounds over and over and over I don’t care if it’s only 10lbs forever I will not stop. I will feed my body fuel and I will take care of myself because over these years I took care of everyone else and not myself. I was a binge drinker on the weekends for many years. Which is horrible I would go out and party and get drunk and puking everything I know it’s fun but it’s not life. I know now that the things in life that matter or your family the one in your home and your true friends that are always there in a matter of what. But the rest are just along the way for the journey for you to learn things from. Just keep enjoying your climb And don’t give up.
My dreams are still there I still love to sing sometimes my voice cut out because of all my neck damage and for my lungs not working right or from the steroids or for my hypothyroidism but no matter what my singing is what makes me happy. I was in competitions I have done lots of things in my life that I’m proud of myself for I was dumb and smoked and with Asthma which was an addiction that I let go but it’s still messed with my vocals and my lungs. I still want to be a model and I still want to do acting one day. You know these little things in life huge things that we need to realize that we are addicted to and let them go. I gained lotta weight so I got worse. And it was like I just got super fat overnight and now I’m fat and I never was before but I thought I was because everybody else put that in my head and I am not gonna let anybody do that to me ever again. Words do hurt no matter what so don’t listen to them because you’re better than that and you deserve better than that. So if I never become famous that’s what I’ve always dreamed of. I want to inspire other people to love themselves fully to take care of themselves time know God is real and he does take care of us. I’ve been through borderline personality disorder my bipolar disorder and depression anxiety cutting myself wanting to kill myself to loving myself to the fullest. If I can do it you can do it. this is my life’s story so far and I pray I am here for many more years.
Charity can be reached:email@example.com
The story about healing from depression
A young woman’s personal story tells us how she learned to take ownership of her own mental health and navigate her way through depressive episodes.
My journey with depression began very early when I was 10 years old. My parents had separated and through my adolescence, I slowly lost my brightness, my brilliant creative energy and all-round can-do attitude.it was never so extreme when I was a young child that I couldn’t get out of bed in the morning. For the most part, my days were filled with melancholy and I turned inward. I had some good years. Like, when I moved school after the junior cert. It was the best thing I ever did and my depression eased off and life started to fill with joy.
Then, at 23, I relapsed. I was stuck in a job for two years that I hated, a relationship ended, there was illness in the family. I cried every day for two months and couldn’t leave the house for weeks. I felt like a potted plant.
My body felt so heavy, I couldn’t move. I decided I needed help. Nobody can make that decision for you. You need to come to that realization for yourself and take ownership of your life. So that’s exactly what I did. For months I went to counseling and went on medication.
My days began to fill with color. Colors and nature around me seemed more vibrant. I never realized how gray the world had become in my darkest days. When I started seeing the beauty in the mundane, I turned to art for healing. The painting was something I loved as a child but it was something that I turned away from in the past. I rediscovered art and my creative side during my healing process.
The Artist’s Way:
Writing became my knight in shining armor. It’s always something I fall back on and recommend to anyone going through tough times. Currently, I’ve set myself a goal I’ve taken from Julia Cameron’s book, the Artist’s Way and get up every morning and write three pages before I do anything else.It helps process my thoughts, feelings, the world or whatever is on my mind. This morning I got up and wrote three haikus. This may sound weird, but I had a laugh writing them. The more entertaining you make life, the more fun you will have.
Taking ownership of my mental health:
Now, a year after my relapse, my life is filled with vitality. I’ve taken ownership of my mental health. I take my medication every morning, I meditate every day.I try to do yoga every day and I fill my time by seeing people who make every moment feel special. It’s a journey trying to figure out what your individual antidote is to depression but it’s worth trying everything under the sun to figure it out.
It can be fun too! I tried so many new hobbies and found new and old passions.
It can and it will be okay.
In fact, I believe your life will be great.
Taking ownership and healing from depression
Please note the storyteller requested not to highlight her name and pictures due be personal reasons.
My story: Plus-size Stories
Kyln From USA- Read my story below
Everyone has their own story, their own size, their own opinion. That’s what makes the world spin, doesn’t it? However, life as a plus-size women spins a little bit differently, at least it did for me.
I remember growing up bigger than the other girls, in fact, they often used to tell me I was bigger and how it made me not as pretty as them. I started trying to be “skinny” when I was only 12 years old. Looking back now I wish someone had told me I wasn’t fat and my body was beautiful. I wish I had learned to tell myself. I watched beautiful women all around me tell themselves they weren’t beautiful because they were “fat”. And I watched as they destroyed their confidence and mine. As the years grew on I had developed the worse case of self-hatred. Every beautiful girl in school was someone I stared at just wishing my life was theirs. And every boy, well who loves a fat girl anyway? I chose to hang out with other “fat girls”, at least we understood each other. I locked myself away and refused to have a good life. I was lonely and depressed.
Then one day it all snapped, who is making me do this? Why am I choosing this life? So that’s when I forced myself to change. Every day I told myself three things there was to love about me. It wasn’t easy, and at first, they were small things. Something as small as having beautiful eyes, or being good at math. But as time grew on those small things became bigger. I found a love for expressing myself, something I had buried so deep even I had never seen it. I learned of clothing brands that didn’t make me feel bad about myself and others who loved themselves the way I was learning too. I learned everyone is on their own weight journey, and that I had no reason to be ashamed. In fact I learned it wasn’t okay for anything that had happened to me. Those women should have believed in themselves, those girls had no right to tell anyone they weren’t beautiful. And I learned I was going to change it. I was going to change it all.
It’s not easy being a fat girl. But it is easy to decide to love yourself. Make that choice today, because the world needs a little more self-love, a little more acceptance, and a little more you!
For 20 years of my life, I`ve been insecure, insecure about what to wear, insecure how I look, insecure if I might not wear a bikini because I could look too fat?But I wasn´t, I’ve been rather skinny with 56 KG and Size S/M.
I gained weight, at the beginning I didn’t even realize how much I’ve gained. Every time I looked into the mirror I had this Bridget Jones effect, I still saw myself with 56 KG however I gained more than 20 KG!
After I’ve seen a couple of pictures I was extremely shocked, is this woman really me? I had to buy a lot of new clothes which seemed to be extremely difficult if you don’t fit into a standard size. Six years ago it was barely possible to find anything in Germany that doesn’t make women look very old and unattractive. I am very glad that these hard times are changing now and the fashion industry has become more aware of sizes and shapes out of the normal range.
But I have to say, becoming curvy has changed me a lot.I started enjoying life much more, I try to find happiness and joy in every single situation in life. Instead of hating myself for who I am, I started to love every single cm of my body and being grateful for living this life. I don’t care anymore if I could look fat in a bikini, I just wear it with pride and love my beautiful curves. As more as I started loving myself, I got a glow, I glow happiness and self-confidence. And more and more people started loving me for my personality, my confidence, and my looks.
A lot of times women tell me how much they love my look but they would never be brave enough to wear things as I do.I always tell them to start loving themselves, start small - look daily into the mirror and tell yourself 3 things you love about yourself. When you started this, start wearing things you avoided before. You’ve always been afraid of wearing a skirt? Find one in the color you like and makes you feel sexy. Am I healthy with my plus-size? Yes! I write daily a gratefulness diary, do yoga, eat fresh and good food and surround myself with amazing friends and a beautiful relationship.
We might be out of range in our sizes, but we are not out of range as a human being.
Take care of yourself- you are beautiful as you are
Thank you so much CurvySupporters for giving me the opportunity to share my story
My story :
"stop eating" "have you seen your thighs?" "Hey, fat girl!"
"You should go on a diet" "don't wear that dress! She's made for a slim woman."
"it's a shame because you're pretty..."
My name is Sarah, I live in Belgium, I am 28 years old, and I have heard these words many times. The number of criticisms received from people who only accept the standards dictated by society. These words hurt, in my life, that will always resonate in my head. In my family, women are all curvy. Even as a child I had small curves. I suffered a lot of school harassment from the age of 8 until the age of 14. At that age I achieve to have my body almost thin again, but I didn't feel good about myself because of the previous mockery. A few years later, I gained weight despite repeated diets. I have often cried in front of the mirror... When I had to get dressed for a special event and look pretty, I cried, alone in the bathroom. I didn't go out with my friends anymore, I hid from everyone, shopping was a horrible time to endure.
But I decided to catch happiness in the air. I found a wonderful man who loves me for who I am. And I try to be happy despite the eyes of others, despite my past and all my bad memories. This year, I discovered the world of #plussizemodel on Instagram. Then I dared to audition. I am selected as a candidate for the election of Miss Plus Size Belgium 2020. A beautiful adventure, with beautiful people. I started as a plus size model in Belgium. I would have liked to break into the world of fashion and fashion shows, but I'm not tall enough for the agencies who contacted me spontaneously. Nevertheless, I am happy to collaborate from time to time with photographers with great values and I continue on my way.
I want to help other women feel at peace with their bodies. I am an amateur photographer, shooting only women over the size of EU44, helping them to reconcile with themselves. We, curvy women, have the right to exist, to be happy, to be loved! And I want to prove it to them, try to change the mentalities and laws of fashion. The fight will be tough and long, but let us keep hope because optimism is the best weapon we can have. I wish all curvy women to be self-sufficient, to smile, to dance, to shine, to LIVE!
This is the story of a girl born with a birth defect finding the power of the curvy community. When I was born, 40 something years ago, there was not really a regular check-up when you were pregnant. So, tada, to the surprise of my parents and doctors I was born with a bilateral cleft lip and palate. This means I had an open gap starting from my upper lip back to my palate. I’m sure that my mom would tell you differently, but this wasn’t really a big deal for me. But hey, what is this about being curvy? I’m getting there, my dear. As soon as you start to socialize in kindergarten and school you realize really fast that you’re different. It doesn’t matter if born with a birth defect that is visible or being bit overweight or being the girl with the longest hair. Maybe you say out loud “yes sista” when I tell you here, that words of the kids hurt …. but even some parents told their kids not to play with me. As if I had something contagious. Just to be clear, cleft lip and palate can be genetic or random. It runs in my family, and so does being overweight. I didn’t understand why I couldn’t be friends with others in my school. It didn’t make sense that it was just because of my looks. Because I felt normal, not different than anybody else…except I needed to spend some time in a hospital every now and then. You can relate to this, especially if you’re curvy, right? Well except being in the hospital, but hey, on birthdays I got a special dessert. Through the years my emotional feelings were on a roller coaster and so was my weight. When I felt accepted by friends, I was doing ok, but when I had a rough time that is truly connected to my cleft health I started to eat more. I remember when I had my jaw surgery and was allowed to get back on regular food after a few weeks, I went to the supermarket and bought a lot of food. It felt like freedom, so I bought unhealthy food and absolutely stuffed myself. Yes, the scale did move again. Scientists did find out that food is something that is able to give you comfort in a stressful time. But this relief is only while you’re eating. As stress comes back in different variations, we tend to fight it the way that seemed to work before…with food. So, if you’re a stress eater and this gives you comfort you more likely to go back to that habit and eat again in a stressful situation. Yes, it’s genetic but also, I am able to blame myself for my extra weight. But I can tell you what I find encouraging in the cleft community and the curvy community: you are as you are. My journey as a cleft is also the journey as a curvy, I can’t be one without the other. This life was given to you for a reason and as long as your heart beats that reason is still there.